Sign of the times

I told my son this weekend that the world must be ending. He said, "How do you know?". I said, "Because, I just bought...of my own free will...my first country CD". Yes, time stood still, the earth stopped rotating...Bryan bought a country CD... Not for someone else, not as gift, not as some strange project, because I wanted to.

What is this world coming to?

In case you are wondering what ended 43 years of chasm for me, the CD is "The Road to Here" by Little Big Town.

It's just one CD, don't expect me to be listening to Keith Urban, that would just be crazy...

6 strings and 4 short fingers

Yesterday my first guitar came by way of UPS. I've been teaching myself and picking up as much as I can since about June of last year using my son's acoustic. The idea of someone buying a guitar doesn't sound crazy or earth shattering, but I've looked forward to this for a few months.

The more I learn on the guitar, the more I want to learn and the better I want to get. I've always loved music...as long as I can remember, it's been a part of my life, but aside from playing the trumpet at school through my sophomore year in high school (that doesn't count) I've never learned to play an instrument. It just wasn't on my radar. It's too bad, because one of my best friends in High School was a practical virtuoso and could have taught me if I had just asked.

I don't remember what made me pick up my son's guitar and start learning in the first place, but it came a little faster than I would have expected. Once I figured that I could do something more than make noises with it I decided that I would try to learn a simple song to sing and play at the talent show during our choir retreat in September. With some help from a couple friends I was able to do that. It was really cool. BTW, the song was "Waiting (Reprise)" by George Michael, it was easy to learn and I really like the song.

So, my thought process was...hey, until I know what I want and if I'm going to really get good I'm going to buy a less expensive one to start off with. I narrowed it down to 3, then 2 then 1. The one I ended up with is an Ibanez AEL20ETBS AEL-20TBS Acoustic-Electric. It's awesome. Playing the guitar is very soothing and relaxing to me and that's exactly what I need right now in my life.

Pretty cool.

The first day...

Yesterday, someone said that this was "the first day of the rest of your life". Considering who he was and what we were doing, I don't believe he was just saying it off the top of his head.

I truly want to believe it, I do believe it. Once again, the road in front of me is unknown by me, but known to Him. God has walked the path that is in front of me...he laid it. I just need to stay on His path and hold to His hand tightly, keep talking to Him and listening to His calming, soothing empowering voice.

"...for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Typical

I heard this today and man does it fit where I am right now... Is it my new "theme song"? Can I break the spell of the typical?

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body." 2 Corinthians 4:8-11

Come on, can I dream for one day?
There's nothing that can't be done
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone

Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?

Now I've lived through my share of misfortune
And I've worked in the blazing sun
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone

Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?

I'm the typical
I'm the typical
Can I break the spell of the typical?

Because it's draggin' me down
Oh, I'd like to know about when
When does it all turn around?

Yeah I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?

Break the spell (of the typical)
Break the spell (of the typical)
Can I break the spell of the typical?

"Typical", Mute Math

Can I break the spell of the typical?

Quicksand.

In the movie "The Replacements", the coach asks the team what they are afraid of. Falco, the quarterback - played by Keanu Reeves, says

"Quicksand...something bad happens. That bad event leads to
another, then another, soon the feeling of quicksand. The more you
try to get out, the more it feels like you are sinking even deeper. "

I'm familiar with the quicksand...I tend to step into it a lot. It especially happens when things are going well. I just start to get my footing on solid ground, my steps feeling more and more solid...feeling confident...and then I trip.

Sometimes I catch myself and keep going, but other times by trying to catch myself I make things worse. I reach for support around me and I miss or I reach for something that offers little or no support. Other times there is just nothing there to reach for, I look around, swinging my arms, pinwheeling hoping that I will find something. Then, crash!

I fall into the quicksand.

At first I am somewhat confident that I can step out, but the quicksand is thick and the harder I try to get out the more I lose my balance. I reach for the sides where there is solid ground, but I miss or I just get grass in my hands. Then I try to take a step out and then I sink deeper into the muck. Now I'm up to my armpits trying to get out, but now I can feel the pit sucking me down.

My attempts to get out make things worse. My actions get more and more exaggerated and then I start making bad decisions. My mind takes what started off as a small stumble and turns it into the "worst case scenario" and now I can't turn my mind off. It's going a mile a minute, feeding me with fear and hopelessness. It's worse when it's quiet. For most people, they want solitude...to get away and think. For me, that's the worst thing, my mind is screaming at me and when I'm alone and it's quiet that's all I can hear...what I need is reassurance, caring...love.

That's how it happens. The rest is always different, depending on the circumstances. I want to cover up the hole - fill it with concrete...for good.