The Balcony

The Church I am a part of has a balcony in the auditorium (most people there call it the "Sanctuary"...that's for another discussion). The Church that I attended for about 12 years and left a few years ago added a balcony a few years after I started going there (with the INTENTION of using it for growth). Other than that, most of the Churches I have attended haven't had them.

I don't like them...

I used to be afraid of heights - that fear is pretty much gone (although I'm still not crazy about falling - especially the sudden stop part at the end), so the reason I don't like balconies has nothing to do with height...

They CAN be useful...as overflow. To me, overflow (noun) is simply the stuff that won't fit into the container with the rest of the stuff. For example, if I am filling my Big Gulp with Mountain Dew at the 7-11 and I get distracted (hey look! a squirrel...in the 7-11?!) the Mountain Dew will overflow (verb). The stuff that did not make it into the 64oz. tub is the overflow (noun). In this case it flows into the drain and it's "healthy goodness" is gone forever... Consider the Mountain Dew - made for one purpose - to be consumed by us and at the last moment their life is rendered in vain...i digress...

Have you ever sat in the balcony? I have to when I work in the A/V booth (or whatever we call it), otherwise I don't. I don't understand why you would unless there was nowhere to sit on the main floor... The only reason I can think of is...

That you really don't want to be there anyway...

Sitting in the balcony is like WATCHING the game from the nose-bleed section. You are THERE, but you have to watch the jumbo-tron to see what really happened. I still remember my first trip to "The Big House" to see Michigan play, my son and I were on the goal line and the band was on our side of the field on the other goal line. I remember that I could hear the band on the radio I had plugged to one of my ears but I couldn't hear them "live". It was surreal...

At best the balcony is the "box seats" of worship. You get box seats so that you don't have to deal with others impeding your view of the action or (in the case of a baseball game) spilling beer on you. You get to go to worship, but you don't have to get "dirty" doing it, you can be there in body...you can say "I was at worship".

At worst the balcony is like a "sky box". If you every have the chance to watch an NFL game from a sky box it's a treat. You get to be AT the game - you feel GREAT, you are comfortable... You are "out there" but not IN IT. When the temperature dips into the cold you don't care because the sky box is comfy and warm and dry.

• You get to watch the replay on the T.V. mounted right above...
• The BUFFET and
• There is always a beverage nearby - no yelling for a vendor or fighting your way through the crowd spilling it all the way.
• If the game gets too loud, you just close the windows and listen to the play-by-play on the T.V.

If I sit in the sky box I can say I was there, but no ringing ears, no cold limbs, no beer soaked back, no rain soaked clothes and no aching back from the stadium seats. In fact, my nice clothes are as clean as when I left home... It's...like...I didn't..go...at...all...

It's just sad to me to watch someone come to worship and walk directly to the balcony and sit way up in our "nose-bleed section" and "watch the game". You can't convince me that you can participate from the balcony (unless MAYBE you are on the front two rows). I'm not complaining too loudly because they are THERE - and I have been just there myself before.

I wish we would close the balcony until the floor is loaded... Problem with that is that everyone that wanted to sit in the balcony would...just...come...late...

"Oh bother"...

"The Beetle is Back" II - Hurry Up and Wait

It's now 1:30pm on the 25th and the three of us are sitting on the side of I-77, literally 50 yards from the toll booth. The good news is that I have a cell signal - if this had happened 5 miles in either direction that might not have been the case.

After opening the hood and scratching my head I looked in my glove box and found the number for the VW roadside assistance and called them. The nice woman on the phone informed me that my roadside assistance coverage had expired just a few months ago. However, she could get me to the closest VW dealership.

OK, we're getting somewhere now. So, let's get me to Beckley...right? No - the closest place that can work on the car is Charleston WV - we just passed Charleston - it's 45 minutes BEHIND us. She tells me that it will cost me $191 to get it towed to the VW dealership in South Charleston WV. I ask - isn't there something closer to NC? She starts listing off other places that are farther away - IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. Of course, it also costs more to get them there. I finally just tell her to send the truck and get us to South Charleston -they take Visa or MC...

How long will it be? About an hour and a half...

So, me and the boys sit tight on the side of the road and wait.

About 30 minutes later I get an automated message telling me that the truck will be there in about an hour. 30 minutes after that someone calls me and tells me he's on his way - just confirming where I am - pretty hard to miss us.

So, somewhere just short of 3pm the tow truck shows up. HE CAME FROM BECKLEY WV. When I figured this out I asked him if there wasn't some place he could take this in Beckley and he tells me that there isn't any place in Beckley that can work on a VW. Wow - the 8th largest city in WV, so named "The City of Champions", over 77,000 in population doesn't have any VWs. Go figure...

So, it's about 3pm and we are in a tow truck based in Beckley, traveling AWAY from home about 45 minutes north to South Charleston which, by the way, is WEST of Charleston. I asked the driver if we passed the airport on the way and he said that the airport was south of Charleson and that we wouldn't pass it to get to SOUTH CHARLESTON because it's on the other side of town. The driver is "pretty sure" he knows where this place is and asks me if I do. Wow, I'm impressed.

I already know that we going to end up somewhere that no one will be to greet us because it's Sunday and no one is home at the dealership on Sunday (or Saturday for that matter, but more on that later). I also know that even though this is 2nd the biggest "metropolitan area" we pass during our trips to and from Michigan (the biggest being Toledo) we can't usually even find a place to eat here except Hardees (they are everywhere).

We get to the dealership area about 4pm...

"The Beetle is Back" Part I

I would like to share a story with you - this story is true - some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent (some have not been changed to complain about the not-so-innocent).

It all started when my two sons and I went to Michigan for Thanksgiving. We had a great time. We took my beetle because we just thought it would be fun - even though we used every ounce of space to pack 3 guys and all their stuff (including TWO guitars and a skateboard). Everything went smoothly until...

We were heading back on Sunday morning the 25th and making great time. It takes anywhere from 9 1/2 hours to 11 hours to make this trip depending on weather, traffic, pit stops and all sorts of stuff. We were on schedule to make it home in record time. Everything was going great and then within the span of about 10 minutes it went from great, to not-so-great, to bad, to...

We were on I-77 heading south smack in the middle of West Virginia. This part of I-77 through WV is a toll road and we were getting close to the 2nd of 3. When we started to hear a weird noise coming from the car. It was clicking very fast.

We pulled over immediately and checked the engine - it wasn't hot it was just making this noise. So we got back in and drove to the next exit which was a rest stop. Me - being a complete dunce when it comes to cars - opened the hood and listened. The rest area was full of people heading home from the holiday and another guy walked up and told me it sounded like we had bad gas (no pun intended). So our plan was to get to the next town and get this taken care of. The next "major" town was Beckley and only about 20 miles away.

We got within about 15 miles (just past Pax, WV). When I slowed down to pay the 2nd toll the car just stalled and would not start back up. It sounded like it was trying to turn over but it wasn't moving. My oldest son and I quickly got out and pushed the car to the shoulder of the toll plaza...

Our day had just changed dramatically and the course of events from here were completely different than I could have (or would have) imagined. It was 1:30pm on the 25th and our adventure was just beginning. We were about to meet new people, experience adventure, frustration, joy, deceit and many other things...

Random thoughts from Thanksgiving 2007

Some things I learned, heard or just experienced over the last week...(in no particular order)

• There are always new things to learn about everyone...just listen.
• My cousin is a great musician.
• My car gets about 4 miles a gallon less in the mountains than it does when it's not.
• My new favorite "radio station" is XM salellite station called "The System" - all techno, no commercials. It's like one big mix.
• One of my new favorite movies is "LOTR: Return of the King - Extended Edition" - it's so good it's like a different movie, but quite an investment in time at 4 hours and 10 minutes.
• A 24 pound turkey takes more than 5 hours to cook.
• Michigan roads are as bad as I remember them (maybe even worse).
• Just because you live somewhere doesn't mean you know how to drive around there.
• I no longer like Circuit City. Years ago I didn't like them and then warmed up to them. After a really bad experience on "Black Friday" with them I've lost my respect for them.
• Some people will do anything to save a few bucks on a big screen TV.
• How to make my own pickles that taste better than anything I can make at the store.
• The world is not COMPLETELY wireless...yet.
• Guilt stinks...
• There are FIVE actors in the LOTR trilogy that have been in OTHER huge blockbusting trilogies...can you name them? This is really amazing considering that these 5 actors in the same trilogy represent a stake in 14 of the top 100 best selling movies of all time and 18 of the top 200... That says a lot about the LOTR trilogy.

OK, here they are - easy ones first:

1. Hugo Weaving (Elrond) LOTR & The Matrix (Mr. Smith)
2. Orlando Bloom (Legolas) LOTR & Pirates of the Carribean (Will Turner)
3. Ian McKellan (Gandalf) LOTR & X-Men (Eric Lehnsherr / Magneto)
4. John Rhys-Davies (Gimli and Treebeard) LOTR & Indiana Jones (Sallah) ** He didn't appear in "The Temple of Doom"
5. Christopher Lee (Saruman) LOTR & Star Wars (Count Duki / Darth Tyranus) *** Star Wars II & III (I consider them 2 separate trilogies) - check LOTR:Return of the King EXTENDED version (to consider him in all 3)

"Ain't gonna be no rematch."

Apollo Creed: "Ain't gonna be no rematch."
Rocky: "Don't want one."

"Don't want one"...that's what the BCS pollsters said today...

Let's review the highlights of the last few weeks...

• Ohio State is ranked 1st, Michigan is ranked 2nd.
• Ohio State beats Michigan in Columbus by a mere three points allowing 29 points.
• Michigan remains in 2nd place. Most analysts are soundly convinced that OSU and UM are the two best teams in the country.
• Lots of discussion about Michigan, USC, Notre Dame and Arkansas playing OSU
• USC takes over the 2nd spot in the BCS after they beat Notre Dame at home (which UM beat at ND), Florida is a distant 4th place in the BCS. Everyone assumes USC will win out and play OSU for the national championship.
• USC and Arkansas both get beat.
• Michigan and Florida move up one spot each taking over #2 and #3 respectively...

Oh wait, this is the BCS...things are not supposed to make sense. In the magical, fantasy world of the Bowl Championship Series Florida, jumps over UM to take over the 2nd place spot and play for the national championship.

Translation...

No one expected USC to get beat by UCLA, so they put Michigan in the 3rd spot because in their hearts they knew that OSU and UM were still the best two teams in the nation, but it made sense for USC to play OSU for the national championship. When USC lost, they said "Uh..oh, even though UM is really the 2nd best team in the nation it wouldn't be good for the BCS to have two teams from the same conference play a rematch for the national championship game. So...

They looked around and said, who's closest...Florida! So, a bunch (just enough) of those pollsters that had put UM just behind USC the week before VOTED AGAINST A REMATCH and moved Florida up to 2nd. It wasn't a mandate FOR FLORIDA, but AGAINST A UM / OSU REMATCH.

What a joke.

Well, there's still one more game left for each team and when UM beats up USC and OSU beats up Florida, then we'll end up with...drumroll...OSU #1 and UM #2...back where we started!

We really need a playoff system.

P.S. Let me make one thing clear, I think Michigan had their chance to play in the national championship game, they just had to beat their bitter rival on the road and by the way that rival is the best team in the country. They almost did it. My beef is that nothing on the field happened on Saturday should have resulted in Florida moving up over Michigan.

By the way, standing shoulder to shoulder with those that do not want a rematch are those in Ohio (check the ESPN polls)...and can you blame them? If I were an OSU fan I would rather beat up on Florida than give UM another chance to beat them on neutral ground.

More fuel:
"People can debate forever whether the Wolverines deserved to play in the BCS title game instead of Florida, which landed the spot opposite Ohio State. But there's no debating U-M lost out for the dumbest reason imaginable, in the dumbest way. U-M fell in the rankings two straight weeks without playing a game, so let's cut through the garbage and admit what this was about. This was about too many people -- especially voting coaches -- getting squeamish about a rematch"..."This was the strangest, wildest season, so naturally, there had to be a controversial twist at the end. It was a turn you could see coming, as CBS commentators campaigned shamelessly while Florida was beating Arkansas 38-28 in the SEC title game Saturday night."..."U-M's only loss was by three points on the road against the undefeated No. 1 team. Florida's loss was by 10 points at Auburn, which finished with two losses. So yes, if the point of the BCS title game is to match the two best teams, regardless of conference affiliation or previous meetings, there's a decent chance the voters got it wrong. But if the unspoken point of the BCS title game is to match the two most deservingteams, it's hard to argue too vigorously against Florida. Bob Wojnowski's from "U-M Denied"

The voters have spoken. Between Gator chomps, here's what they said:
Never mind.
Never mind what we did the last couple of weeks, voting Michigan ahead of Florida. We've changed our minds because, hey, we can.
Because the rematch thing suddenly became too real. Because when Urban Meyer politicks, we listen. Because we thought it was time to throw the embittered SEC a bone after stonewalling Auburn's national title bid two years ago.
We thought the Wolverines were better than Florida back in November -- and even though Michigan hasn't played a down of football since Nov. 18, we've decided that we don't think so anymore. We were dazzled by the Gators' work since that date: a seven-point victory over Florida State and a 10-point win over Arkansas. And we decided that Ohio State-Michigan was not in need of a sequel.
That's our story and we're sticking to it. Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to put our fake nose and glasses back on and return to anonymity. These publicized ballots make us more accountable than we'd prefer. Goodbye.
Read the rest at Pat Forde, "Whining, politics, voting reversals part of BCS system"

One more..."Does anyone see the irony of (Urban) Meyer successfully lobbying about the unfairness of an OSU-Michigan rematch, when the only national championship trophy in his program's history came courtesy of a rematch in 1996 after a regular-season loss to Florida State? " Ohio State, Michigan prove to be class of Big Ten

Let's end on a very astute quote from Lloyd Carr:

"I don't think they (Florida) would have moved ahead of us if USC would have won the game,"

That just says it all. Florida's move in the polls had nothing to do with what they did, but what everyone else didn't want to happen.

Meeeeechigan!

I feel compelled to say something about the current craziness...

I am a die-hard, maize & blue-blooded, lifetime U of M fan. I think my mom piped in "Hail to the Victors" in her womb. (BTW, there is only ONE U of M and that is the University of Michigan, any other U of M you may see are mistaken)

My childhood is filled with fall Saturdays watching Michigan on TV. It was cool outside, me and the neighboorhood kids had played football until gametime and then the streets emptied. Mom had a pot of chili on the stove and we gathered around the TV and yelled and gasped and watched. Great fun.

There's not a lot about those days that I really, really miss, but that's one of them. Now, I live in basketball country and football is just not the same here. They try, but they just don't get it. In my hometown, on Friday night we walked to the High School game, then watched Michigan on Saturday and just kept going (let's not talk about the Lions).

Michigan is on the cusp of arguably the biggest game in the history of it's existence...and that is saying a lot. Every year there is always a game or two that are huge...this is gargantuan. The biggest rivalry in college sports, and arguably in American sports pro or college - Michigan / Ohio State and now they meet as two unbeaten teams #1 vs. #2 (only because it would be all but impossible to have a tie in the polls). The winner gets to go the the championship game, the loser gets to go to...The Rose Bowl?

Wow! For most of my life, the goal of any Big Ten team was to play in The Rose Bowl, that was the prize. Bo didn't care about anything else (of course it would have been nice if he had won a few more). Now the loser gets it. That's irony...

I have seen way too many of these games to bet on either team because anything can happen. When this game comes around you throw away stats, schedules, charts, polls, talking heads, sports casters, records...everything. A 1-9 team could beat the other in this game and consider their season good...in fact the 1-9 team usually has nothing to lose and does just that. You can listen to all the analysts talk all week (I have) and it means squat. Anyone that makes a pick is just throwing dice.

There is something almost magical about this game each year, it defies logic and makes people crazy. It's a blast and I will hold my breath until the last second ticks away on the clock.

Go Blue!