Monday, April 02, 2007

The Librarian of My Brain

Imagine for a moment that my brain has a head librarian. My librarian wouldn't be like other librarians, his name is "Scooter" (why? because it sounds cool). Scooter is a trained librarian, he went to librarian school and graduated in the middle of his class - not the best but not the worst either.

After working filling shelves in other brains, he got his first break a few years later as the head librarian's assistant in another brain where he worked for about 2 years doing fairly well having some successes and trying learn from his mistakes. Finally, he got his break, there was an opening in a new baby's brain for a head librarian's job, he applied for the position and it came down to him and a woman named Xena (another cool name). Anyway, for reasons not clear to anyone he got the job.

Scooter does a great job as my brain's librarian taking all sorts of information that comes into my brain and categorizing it. "Hey, Bryan just learned about Mongolian Fruit Bats, put that in the avarian section next to the piece on Egyptian Fruit Bats..." The next time I need that information about the Mongolian Fruit Bat I find it right where I expect it, with the other "bat" information. His assistants and the "shelvers" like him and he stays out of their hair...for the most part.

However, Scooter has a bit of a quirk. Sometimes he gets confused and distracted while doing his work. He gets some new information and just puts it in the wrong on Robert Oppenheimer (physicist that worked on the Manhattan Project) and he puts it in the area with Astrology (something that I don't think too much about). Another time he takes a new word Mammatus (a cloud formation) and puts that word in with the "J's". Other times he literally takes a word that I know well, like thesaurus and re-shelves it with the "W's".

What happens is I am talking to someone and I am thinking about a thesaurus, but when I get to the word in converstion I look it up in the place that it's supposed to be and IT'S NOT THERE!!!! My mind goes into overdrive, Scooter gets alerted..."where did I put that word?", he get's his assistants searching for it. "It's around here somewhere, I know it is...I may have filed it with the dinoaurs, next to "Stegasaurus"..."

Sometimes they get lucky and find it hiding next to "Watermelon" and other times they just don't find it until later. Usually, once it's found it's re-shelved in it's rightful place, but occasionally Scooter finds it, sends it to me and then just sticks it somewhere else. That's really annoying.

What it sounds like from the outside is..."uh, um, you know...that thing that you use like a dictionary..."

Introducing "Scooter"...the librarian of my brain. He wears a worn out "Foghat" T-Shirt, faded and distressed Levi's jeans and a pair of old white Nike's with a red swoosh that have seen better days. His hair is perpetually (he had to hunt down that word) messy and long, and he lives on Mountain Dew and Taco Bell. He's married and loves his wife dearly.

No comments:

"...Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:7-18