Cacophony

I've been distracted lately. I don't know if it's the old standard...stress or something else. I think it's something else...

Someday's it feels as if my mind and my heart are in a battle to determine where my energy is going to be spent. In the process, of course, they spend energy which is taken away from that which I finally decide to devote my time.

I know that part of it is the change in weather...it's officially spring here, but it feels much more like summer. I think there is something about each season that I really like and this one is no exception. There are so many things you can do in the summer...

But something else is going on inside of me. I mentioned this to a really good friend of mine a couple weeks ago and I basically said to him that more and more I am looking for a creative outlet. Now, I'm a pretty straight-forward kind of guy so this is a funny thing for me to say. I mean, in the past, I have left such things for others (you know, creative types - those that go to school and get..."Art" degrees) while I just got on with the real work - I mean, I AM the workhorse - the strong back.

In the past, I have always been the one everyone wanted around because I was "a strong back" and I just jumped in and started working and I worked and I worked and didn't make waves and just...well you know...worked. Lately, I find that I have a number of things to say from my heart and my heart is starting to sound like the little girl that keeps tugging at your shirt asking crazy questions.

"Why is the sky blue?", "Why did God give frogs green skin?" "What would happen if I ate 100 popsicles?", "Are you listening to me?", "Can we go to the park?", "I want to learn how to ride a bike, a really cool one with red handles and steamers.", "Are you listening to me?", "What would happen if flies blew up when you hit them?", "Hey, are you listening to me?", "Can I sing you a song?", "Hey, look at what I drew...it's an elephant with polka-dots", "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?"

My heart is making a lot of noise and the sound is deafening, I have to figure out how to work through each day, listen to my head, listen to my heart and keep both of them happy.

Any ideas?