"Pin me down, show me how"

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. "
Psalms 6:2-4

It's comforting to know that someone as mighty as King David felt like I do now. Sometimes I just want to know what God has planned for me..."my soul is in anguish. how long, O Lord, how long?". I lose patience and I yell at the sky "what do you want from me?!, stop dropping barriers in front of me!!" Later, when I step back and think about it, I wonder if God is more concerned with teaching me patience than I want him to be. Maybe I'm really going to need to have patience down the road. Maybe I really need it now.

Maybe he is teaching me humility. He knows my deepest thoughts, even before I think them, he understands how I am going to react to what is happening around me. I find myself literally battling my own thoughts, I give them up to the Lord, I ask him to take the selfish thoughts away because I can't do it alone. It just wears me out.

Is there some way to work through my thoughts in a positive and uplifting way? Can I turn what is happening around me into something good? Only if I let go and give God the reigns of my heart. The process of handing those riegns over saps me of my energy, the battle within me is big. I don't want my emotions to control my life anymore! Yet my emotions are part of who I am...

Its' all very confusing.

Here are the words from another "David" (Grohl).

A little bit of resolve is what I need now
Pin me down, show me how
"Resolve", Foo Fighters

Inactivity and Faith

Real faith requires action. Remember the scene in "The Last Crusade", where Indiana Jones has to step out into "nothing" to save his father? He had to believe that the bridge was there (even though he couldn't see it) and then step on to something that he could not see. That's just a movie, but it illustrates a great point.

We often equate sin with actions. Someone abuses their body, steals from the grocery store, gossips about a friend, speaks harsh words to someone... These are sins of action and we see them all too often (in our own lives).

What about the sin of inaction. When we lack the faith in God to step out of our comfort zone and do something amazing. To follow him into adventurous territory. I think about people like Abraham, Moses or David (just off the top of my head). They were not perfect men by any measure, but they trusted in the Lord and followed him into unknown territory.

I am tired of our leaders being immobilized by fear of what might happen, about starting somethng they cannot control, but upsetting those around them even though they believe that change needs to happen. Days, weeks, months and years go by and our leaders continue to maintain that which they can control, peace.